bitter community

Melancholy has dunked me in its syrupy bath
Waiting for a bus at the aldwych
Doesn’t seem to wanna come
Spelt wanna like wanner because im so knackered
Old man in new shoes
I can’t thank my mum enough for them
Sounds sarcastic but isn’t
Dwelling, my heart’s swelling
My nose is smelling nothing but kinda-cold-road
Cmon billy big bollocks winter
Freeze me
I dare ya
Bite at my fingers like a scabby rat
Naah still typing though
In moments like this I just refuse to acknowledge the weather’s even there
Complete seething misery but utter exhilaration
My university lecturers have no idea I feel so effervescently isolated
No idea how I view the backs of peoples heads without the slightest interest in their faces
Cos I know their smiles crack their cheeks the same way mud does, indifferently dried by out by the sun
their mottled eyes are just gna make my blood boil, like the pasta I might eat later
Make the water as salty as the ocean
Ah god how I wanna stand thigh-deep in the sea
Somewhere bleak like the pebbledashed beaches on the south coast
Where you can’t see the sand ooze round your fetid toes, the water is so shit-stained
I cant escape the self-inflicted pressure to make this rhyme somehow
For goodness sake noones bloody reading
Don’t blame em hahahah
I’ll wait until me and noone are sitting on clouds, heaven’s pillows, with thorntons chocolate smeared joyously on our chops, before we talk
Ill say “hello no-one how are you this is kurt cobain and immanuel kant I call him cunt as a nickname he laughs his bollocks off when I do”
And so even in the ecstacy of the garden of eden they’ll feel as bitter as I do now
My irreverence will make their skin itch
They’ll maniacally scratch off their outer layer
Leaving their body throbbing, mauled vessels screaming in agony, spluttering clotted liquid, like a smoker hacking up lung
That’ll be some sort of vengeance
Some sort of justice
And yh I’m a bastard for saying that
But the world is full of bastards so maybe thats inescapable
And at least then we’ll have some sort of connection
Some sort of community by essential feeling
Beyond our 7 mutual friends
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