in the sun

I am in the sun

Sitting

Sunlight reflecting off my eyes

Which do not wince in the glare

Maybe my armpits are sweating

My skin perhaps getting burnt

I dunno

I look over to my right

People of children’s ages are playing and laughing and screeching

Climbing trees

Rolling on the grass

Whirling round on roundabouts

Soaring on swings

Their unspoilt, white faces grinning

Forming ageless memories of fun as he had done

The scene was expected

The rhythm of instinctual play undulating to a breeze whistling by

Coming from somewhere, going somewhere else

Harmonising with the breath of the trees

Sighing in the beating heat

The view moistens my eyes with jealousy

My heart groans begrudgingly at puberty

The hormones that poison immediate bliss

That rip open your eyes to ambition and sex and tragedy

Humanity

Because I sit alone

Lucid

My isolation empowers me and laughs at a recent memory

 

Moving like a wind I roll up into the city, person #26 sitting in this carriage, carrying my hopes for the night, sealing fate, hot date, don’t be late, half past 8, hello hello, hug hug, kiss kiss, you look great miss, I know this place round the corner, we move in the crowds, it’s like a sauna with clouds of steam billowing round, absorbing us, the cars, the busses, just been raining, all our faces are crept on by shadows in the failing sun, nah not this place, the next one, hop skip jump and we’re done with the walk, sit down and talk of the things everyone else is talking of in here, what you doing? How’s uni? You going on holiday this year? Clink clank, drink? Thanks. Everyone chitter chatters, somewhere a plate breaks, somewhere a glass shatters, doesn’t matter, because I’m sat opposite her, just a boy and a girl hurled through time, the cosmos so arranged that tonight, from 9, we can drink wine, climb inside each other’s minds and allow the forces of nature to do what they do, bring you closer to me and me closer to you. Liquid slips down and brows furrow deeper, conversation gets loud as I try to teach her all about me, my philosophy etcetera and vice versa, her lines said with such assurance it’s like she’s rehearsed them. We’re just animals, I’m nothing more than a sack of bones, we’re tiny and insignificant. The boldness is cold and I try to hold onto some sort of identity and reason, something to believe in, to keep me dreaming, but as I do I’m a hypocrite, I can’t deny it, i can’t hide it, I moved just like a monkey here, a pinball buffered by lust, fear, excitement, enticed by hope, just another sack of bones, another drone being thrown by the forces of time. Time to go, don’t you know, back home, alone, where I’ll moan and groan on the phone to a friend about my longing for some kind of tenderness, the same as us all, all hellbent on this idea that somehow I’m special, that I’m gonna be successful in love and money. But nah, just monkeys in shoes m8

 

But I am in the sun

Sitting

Sunlight reflecting off my eyes

Which do not wince in the glare

Maybe my armpits are sweating

My skin perhaps getting burnt

I dunno

Because my thoughts are too preoccupied

With ambition and mortality and humanity

To ever surrender myself to the weather

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s