fathers day

When a second lacks promise like 3.30am

And full days seem just as dark

What my dad did doth done teach me

Is stretch your legs and find a laugh.

 

A belly-bellow televised in Technicolor,

Uninhibited and gleeful like Spike,

Which fizzes and swirls and turns against the world,

Beating any sour, old Boycott for flight

yawn (suns of britain)

Wake up in the morning which opens up instinctively like your yawning mouth, trying to find air to breathe,

Phone on, turns south, screen beams screams back at you

No new news story, same old Tories, getting gory, that Trump’s a chump, a C-U-N-T (cunt), bring back the fox hunt! Brexit, we’ll make a mess of it, Great Britain’s glory is a boring part of history, the future seems to be nothing to do with me and what I believe in,

I’m scared

You’re scared

The sportswear punk’s yawns are like flares that no one else is seeing, that no ears hear

No ears hear the searing sips of bargain bucket beer I take in my garden between screaming-“fuck it”-sighs which evaporate hot, clear tears streaming, thundering, from cheek to chin to shoulder like transparent boulders

Because the sensitivities of those near, far and wide are older, colder, clamping shut their eyes, closing their minds to remember golder times, “the golden days” – give me a break

I’m scared

You’re scared

Unprepared for World War 3 when it’s declared by ignorance with bloated guts, skin like pus, silly haircuts, silly haircuts

But. But.

But you can finish up your yawn

Bear your teeth like thorns and grit them

The anachronists can look back and sit and remember – but we can stand up and dream about forever,

Let’s sever old-rope ties, expose lies, empathise, sympathise with the young, old, black, white

Let’s wipe away the sleep in our eyes and use our time to make something of our lives

Let’s feel the suns that shine, the suns of Britain.

So finish up your yawn

Bear your teeth like thorns and grit them

We are the suns of Britain.

We are the suns of Britain.

love letter

Dear anna (or is it bella?),

I’m writing you this letter

Cos I know I’ve got no stamps

Whilst you dance with your key

In the heat of post teen steam,

I sit, sip, soak like damp

As if you’re Woolworths pick’n’mix

Stupid boys steal teeth and lips

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

I wonder what could have been,

Maybe you dream, same as me,

Anyways, yours faithfully, Tommy B

ur boring get used to it

Half cut, half spent, half heaven sent in the gents, 50 cent, in da club, in da bar, am i in mars? catch my breath in tar, having fun is hard, having fun is hard

That sounds nice but through barred teeth I admit its not me now,

Chow down on the realisations rattling round my brain:

You’re not the same

Love’s an end game,

Club’s are always a shame,

My lion, with its heartshaped mane, firy crown, roars heartache to an earless town,

He’s lame,

Might aswell be tame,

I’m lame,

Pretty much tame

Anachronism, 80s television, third way myopisism, liberal utopianism, led zep are brilliant, the smart phone is a villain, 12 pence in a shilling, if I met the it-man, I’d imagine I’d kill him, I’ll never be the it-man, which is just as well, cos I’d kill him

block

Hsksisj:hnxkddi,, :&84: :)/hgkhj jsjdvd d,   ksjsjskala cccoofkfkdkkdk

Caaaa.s.s…..ntntbbtbt wrfiifittddfeee,,.,., whhhygyyyyyyyyyuyyyyyy not???+/? I mmm mnpot drunbhhkkiii ,-,-/-/// iiiiiiiii saaaaannmmmmm kjussdt wwewuithin ft he ddsepthds fpofffff hell hell hell

I’ll tell you whats what

Hells not hot, its cold

Its a block, block of ice

With my body frozen in it,

Anything nice suspended like christ on the cross,

Tryna cross tees,

with fingers froze in the freeze,

Is impossible

Fires feels far away,

In Another place, tomorrow, yesterday,

They’ve flamed, They’ll splay and spit without mercy, burning me, burning you

Teeth will clamp shut tight, fists will fight, throats will cry, flesh will bubble, skin will tear, there’ll be sweat, life and death, I’ll swear, I swear the night’s sterile dark will run away into daylight, daylight, daylight, climb, clamber, unhampered, unhindered, release me, release me,

But no but no because right now the cold is everywhere

I’m trying to gasp for oxygen

Trying gag at the tastelessness on my tongue

Tryi.ng to cry

Trnmying to sss.mile

Trgguhying tytto4 oooshiveerr

Tr….r..y…yyiiingngn tr..f.gtiing trddying trttoooppp B.bbreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sossm6eeon.,,,,,,e

Haaiosohbdurijr…)£83′._)£usdhsh):866/all njkkkkkkss……..,,  .      :::£qqqqq199$]$>{¥¥¥¥njdouubbtkievve

Grab a pint or three with g, he’s a g,

cant you see mate, you’re more than alright, you’re great

But I hate, how I hate, I hate it all, I feel nothing at all, all’s awful, all the present does is mourn for a dead past, a terminal future, paralysed paralysed,

But its not dying, its not dying, what else is there but trying, plying a trade, laying down slates of concrete for the middle-aged middle-class,

A farce! surely?!, a boring existence, a life for fools and horses trawling up to never-near, always-far, relentlessly hard

Of course its a farce but you’ll be laughing all the way to the grave as long as you know you’re okay, you’re good, you you you

Me me me, I I I, self self self

Yeah and help yourself

I can only play the cards ive been dealt, dealt myself, friends with parasitic mental health, cowering like children under the shadow of wealth, being beaten by a belt held by a headmaster with an instagram smirk, diamond-plated teeth, donald trumps wig, Kim Kardashians arse, eyes which burn harsh and green as money, green as envy, skin that flickers the Technicolor vomit of the telly

But you’re a man, a man, be a man, damn damn god damn, damn god, he’s too busy plotting to take note of your plan, cmon cmon cmon tom, for fuck sake come on, fuck him, fuck his grin, fuck him

Yeah fuck him

And fuck them too

Its all me

Its all you

Stay free, stay free, drink this with me, we’ll clash with the crowds, we’re out on the town, we’ll burn it fucking down

to a cinder

 

A new day and my phone tells me its warmer

I’m wearing last nights tshirt still

I sniff it but the acrid smell of last night doesn’t pang my nostrils

I reach under and put my fingers in my armpit but they’re not dampened by sweaty syrup

I go to move

But the sheet.s stick to me like plahhster

Lghike a vip?scous sno,,//w

Wih_jyhbgt6676/////sh no hdis@@@@<$<$]|¥¥¥¥hhhgaqqpzxviwhe no ahaia¿¿¿¿:-):-):-):&;:3+iwb no I wont, I wont, I wont

Instead I’ll read back on these words I wrote

And feel the heat of the anger they seethe

Instead I’ll read back on these words I wrote

And melt, and melt, and melt the freeze

coal

Always told “you can sparkle if you go for it”

That seemed boring so I had more fun

But what exactly do I have to show for it?

What exactly is it I do did done?

Maybe that’s just depressive

Diamond boy momentarily dirtied by mud

Maybe my eyes still shine, so impressive

Once cleaned by a best-mates hug

But right now the future seems blanker than black

My fig tree already poisoned and old

Too late to escape my house, semi-detached

Too late for this lump of coal

vampire

Im gonna let down my hair,

but it’s a thursday,

but I don’t care it’s someone’s birthday, the mirth makes up for weekday headaches,

who’s is it?

Its err err what’s hisher name, err, err, erring on the side of debauchery, forcibly throwing away caution into a mellower breeze than the slipstream of wind we travel in: hot like steam, from a mindrotting trot to galloping dreams, a team, a gang, of post-teen freaks and queens, posers and thieves, cherubims and sweetpeas, all for one and all are one and all for none and all are none, all trawling all yawning, all flying all excited up the m1, m6, m4, door to door, town to town,

hello you alright come in sit down,

how are you?

When we going out?

How’s it all going?

When we going out?

Do you like my new shirt, its ralph?

Yeah that’s great when we going out? When we hitting the town? I wanna fly about and shout loud and hear the echo rebound of bricks so I can picture the buildings like a bat, like a vampire getting fat on the blood of this city, my teeth are to be the ones that hath bit into this place’s veins, tasted the taste of its gritty, shitty, pissy liquid lifeline, and so do you, I know you, you’re like me, you wanna consume, consume, fill the empty rooms of your mind with the rich seconds of a night, all rumbling stomachs, we’re a gang with vangs that hang ready to sink, we’re a gang with brains ready to think hand in hand with the anarchy of drink, drugs, love, lust, we’re a gang, we’re a group, we’re a troup

Roll up, roll up, read all about it, gang of adultchildren with with roll ups roll up to the highstreet and rape and pillage the village for all its got

This is war that rages as ferocious as hell is hot

Let’s do a shot, let’s down a pint, let’s go wrong, let’s go inside this gaff on the right, might dab this, shit burns my gums, let’s chew our tongues, let’s grind this bum, god this is fun, so fun, so fucking fun, don’t hum but scream back the chorus to this song, I grab a girl and we snog like it’s the last day of the world, naaah fuck her, lets go, that house party is just getting started, let’s call a guy, you know a guy who can supply our demand, narcotic freakonomics, its 60 for two, that’ll do, so white it’s almost blue, my shoes muddy the carpet, the smoke ruddies the white of my eyes that can still be seen even in this darkness, this place can’t be heartless, must have lungs, cos the beat pumps, heaves so strong, so strong, we’re so strong, we’re so sexy, I know how to solve brexit and trump and all of life’s mysteries, the present just nullifies all the pain of history, I ain’t seen you ages, were you missing me? I guess you must have been because now you’re tongue’s kissing me, lets dance, caste away the claustrophobia of class and ambition with the sweet rotation of our hips, pelvis like an anvil, elvis was a handful, ask priscilla, but I’m a fist, we’re a fist, we’re a killer blow, I’m in a gang you know, we have fangs that hang down low, wait, shit, where you going, where’s she gone, no worries I’ll find harry, I’ll find tom, where’s that dick gone? Have you seen kate? Have you seen lucy?

I think they’ve all gone mate

What?

Yeah they left about an hour ago, are you okay?

No I’m not bloody okay, out my way, upstairs, bedroom, bedroom, my panic is a sadistic estate agent, toilet, downstairs, living room kitchen, showing round my feardrenched face,

gotta find em, where am I? Shit. Shit shit shit. I have no idea what to do

Get an uber.

To where? Bollocks, I wish I cared to remember who’s house I said I’d stay at, now im a rat, down in the sewer, scurrying, looking for scraps to chew, a hole to hide in but there’s people everywhere, they all have the same hair, the same glazed glare,

who are.you?

I’m jim,

I thought him was jim,

nope that’s tim 

Fuck fuck fuck

Where’s the gang? Where’s the gang? 

all for one and all are one but but but

all for none and all are none and all for none and all are none and all for one and all are none and I for one are all for none

Im hungry